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“No” is the New Self-Care

May 22, 2018

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The One Thing You MUST Master to Be Authentic

May 15, 2018

 

Do you find yourself thinking, “I’d like to say ‘no,’ but I feel bad”? How about, “I have a hard time saying no, I’m too nice!”? Or maybe “I don’t want to disappoint anyone by saying “no”?

 

Most thoughtful people relate to these sentiments.

 

But I need to set the record straight: not saying “no” when you mean it is lying.

 

Strong, compassionate women just like you and me say what they value most in relationships is honesty.

 

I say prove it.

 

Prove it by saying what you mean, even if it isn’t the thing people want to hear.

 

Living authentically

 

Here’s the deal: you are one person and you can’t do everything.

 

If you want to have a life that is fulfilling to you, you need to choose how to spend your time and energy.

 

Your time and energy is how you do your life.

 

Therefore, to live life on your terms, and to be honest about what’s a yes and what’s a no, you’ve GOT to get clear and be willing to say “no” even when it’s not pleasant.

 

In fact, knowing how to be honest, in the most effective, concise, and thoughtful way possible, even when it’s not what another person wants to hear, is an essential skill.

 

Essential.

 

If you don’t say no...

 

If you don’t master “no,” you remain underdeveloped. You continue to feel like that adolescent girl trying to please everyone all the time, while making your own self miserable.

 

You start

  • acting passive-aggressively

  • being vague

  • downright avoiding others

 

All so as to not have to say no to the thing you really need to say no to.

 

It’s not attractive. And it takes more energy than saying no in the first place.

 

Speaking your truth is powerful

 

But there is also a much more significant issue here. How can we possibly strengthen our courage and resolve to speak the truth about bigger issues if we can’t master saying “no”?

 

Bigger issues like:

  • Speaking up about injustices

  • Advocating for our needs

  • Calling out harassment and bullying

 

“No” is the foundation of truth-telling.

 

As Oprah said in her famous speech last year at the Golden Globes, “What I know for sure, is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have.”

 

Amen to that.

 

Let’s listen to Oprah. If we want to #resist and #metoo, we need to be rockstar truth-tellers.

We need relentless authenticity in the face of truthless absurdity.

 

And it all starts with “no.”

 

Ready to say "no" with confidence and without guilt? I'm offering a space-limited live, online workshop, Say "No" Like a Pro, June 5, 2018 at 7:30pm EST. For all the details, check out the event HERE.

 

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