It’s hard to say if I’d rather puke or roll my eyes when I hear about self-care. Frankly, it seems pretty squishy and I don’t feel like it’s the answer to my particular problems.
Sure, let me just add 20 minutes of meditation to my day… or take a walk…or write in a journal.
Should I do that while getting four people ready for their day, in between making lunches?
How about on my commute?
Instead of sleeping?
That could work, but what we really need is the ability to:
Self-care is saying “no”
True self-care is:
Do you know when to say no and exactly how to do that, even when it’s hard to do?
If not, you are wasting valuable energy and time doing what others want from you, and not driving the bus that is your life.
Self-care starts with driving the bus.
Benefits of saying “no”
I met Carrie* when she attended one of my recent workshops.
Carrie used to say “yes” to everything at home and work:
nearly all of her children’s after-school activities
leading her department at her full-time job
fundraising and volunteering for various organizations
responding to friends who relied on her on a regular basis to solve their crises.
For “self-care” she woke up at 4am (after going to bed at 11pm when she was done with all her “jobs”) to exercise.
She was exhausted and burned out.
Adding “self-care” to an inhumane schedule will not help. It didn’t help Carrie.
She had to take things off her plate for real change---a whole lot of things.
Nailing down exactly when, why, and how to say “no” was the game-changer for her. She started doing less of what was not important to her and more of what she truly valued.
She reclaimed the driver’s seat of her life and now feels less stress, sleeps more, and overall more enjoyment of how she spends her time.
Would you know how to do that?
If you are tired of just adding more to your plate and never truly mastering self-care, it’s time to add “no” to your vocabulary.
Are you ready to say no, set limits, and be large and in charge of your own life?
I'm offering a space-limited live, online workshop, Say "No" Like a Pro, June 5, 2018 at 7:30pm EST. For all the details, check out the event HERE.
*The name is made up but the overwhelm is real!